many "pretend" and one "fucking"

kepada @abcdefg

im officially missing you.

i hate it when i have to pretending that im okay, but inside im totally broken.

its hard to see your face everyday when i know you are not the same person who has touched my cheek and took me out that night.

you are not the same person who met my mother.

you are not the same person that i met.

oh hell no .

i think its not just about you.

all this time i were pretending that i am not change at all.

but i know that im not.

im not me again.

i just realized that i have a lot of changes.

im the one who start to broke our boundaries, arrghhhh

and i regret it.

and still,

from that day you knew i love you,

i cannot pretend that you are nothing.

all i can do is just being cold in front of you, pretending that i hate you.

and here i am.

i am now just nothing for you.

now you start to hate me, to stay away from me, and being cold, as cold as i did.

and do you know ?

in fact, i just cant stop this feeling.

i just pretending myself, but i know i never can.

its not about "talk more do less" or wtver -,-

its like..

hmm its like when you know that your feeling is deadly wrong, and all you can do is pretending in front of people that they dont have to worry about you. but inside youre cying.

yeah like that..

uuh i know youre happy now.

but im not.

i just fucking pretend ! hell, i can see many "pretend" in this entry !

oh yeah youre happy.

its your turn to be happy.

and im still waiting my turn.

and i just dont have any sign, when will my turn be..

hmmm

ps : i still love you. forever and always.